Sunday, March 16, 2014

About Me

My name is Donna, of course that's not my real name . I am 36 years old, I live in Washington state with my husband, my daughter, my Boxer and the cat.

My family is new. My daughter is 13. I have been divorced from her father for more than four years now. I married my best friend in August of last year. He never had kids. He is retired from the military, Navy, after serving our country 20 years. I started dating him after he came back from his last deployment. I loved him from our first date. I loved him while we were friends, and I love him even more, now that we are married. He is an only child. My daughter is an only child. She swears she will never marry an only child, because she doesn't want her child growing up without Aunts and Uncles and cousins.

I am middle child. I have an older brother who lives in Oregon, where we grew up, and I have a younger who is serving in Georgia right now; he is in the Army. We grew up in the country.

My dad was in a motorcycle accident when I was 9, and he damaged his brain. He is paralyzed on the left side, which means he scrambled the right. He used to have better short term memory, at least 10 minutes.. he's at about 5 now. He remembers bits and pieces about my childhood. When I call him I never call him dad, because I don't sound right to him. I wait for him to ask me, and I say it's Donna. He says, that's what I thought. I was the twinkle in my daddy's eye. 

Alcohol took him away.

My mom raised three children on her own. I have never seen her hug another man. I have never seen her kiss another man. She honored her promise to her husband. I hope that when my dad passes that God would bless her with a man that will treat her like the amazing woman she is.

I don't have a relationship with my older brother, another story. 

My younger and I speak when he is drinking. When he isn't drinking he doesn't call, because he is spending time with his family. He is a good man. He inherited my father's taste for beer. He and my older both did. I can't stand the stuff. If I drink I drink hard a, and I get into my happy place, and I stop drinking when I get there. I like to be in control of what I am doing. I once thought that I was going to become an alcoholic, so I stopped drinking for a while. It was becoming a habit. I'd come home from work and have a drink. It helped.

My problem is like many others; food. I can't stop, I have no will power to avoid eating the things that got me into this state of being. I know why I allowed myself to hide behind the food. Now I am trying to shred off the damage I did. I would ultimately like to lose 100 pounds. But for right now I am focused on the amount

This blog is going to record my emotional rollercoaster. My husband went to the Police Academy this week, he'll be gone for a month. He is going to try to come home on the weekends (it's only about an hour and a half away), but that may be hard. I am try to lose 30-40 pounds by the time he graduates. April 11th I believe. I started this diet on the 8th. Today is the 16th.

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